Each of our lives are a story. We are all teachers and students. Every action we take, every action we don’t- it tells a story. Today, I’m going to give you a glimpse into mine… In hopes that it may help you, inspire you, or maybe just make you feel less alone.
Long before I created Mila Rosa, or started writing for The Canadian Cancer and MD Canada, I was just a kid from a small town in Europe. I have known since I was a kid that there was some meaning I was suppose to give. Some lesson only I could teach. Something engrained in me. I had big dreams and was always curious about discovering new things, new paths.
Fast forward to my diagnosis, it was hard to believe there was any kind of future for me. At the beginning I just wasn’t brave enough to even consider it. Maybe I was a little sad, maybe a smile was the last thing I could manage to do. But there was a little bit of strength that never went away and that little fraction of what I had left, returned me. It pieced me back together. I found beauty in the moment and I found happiness while I grew.
After my life started to go back into the “normal” routine, I found that I really had to figure out what I was going to do and how I was going to work around what had come upon me. There were many individuals telling me what I should do, as I have mentioned in previous blogs. But I never needed anyone’s approval to find and become who I really wanted to be. I found that no matter what you go through, there is redemption. What was inside of me was much stronger than what was around me. Yes, I thought, I am comfortable not making big moves. But am I happy? I cannot accept it. And nothing being thrown at me would be strong enough to diminish the bigger picture. I have a life and I have the scars to prove it. But every experience has lead me here. I’m not done, and neither are you.
There will be a day when unexpected events will occur and you’re going to want to bring what you’ve lost back to life. There will be despair, but there is something within you. It is with you everywhere you go, even if you can’t see it. It’s something you will never be able to buy, and you won’t read about it in a book. One of my finance instructors told me something one day that I have never forgotten, “Don’t let your losses keep you back from new gains“. Now yes, he may have been talking about the numbers, but this can be applied many different ways, beyond numbers. Sometimes you have to take a loss to earn a gain you might not even see yet.
There are so many things that make life simple and so many things that make it hard. But I find myself thinking about the good things more than the bad. Maybe you feel like you should be grateful for everything but it’s easier to sit around feeling sorry for yourself. I don’t have enough money, I don’t have enough experience, I’m not smart enough, I’m not pretty enough… Sometimes you get lost in all that you cannot change, and sometimes you are built within it.
Maybe you don’t want to tell your story, maybe you can’t begin to explain it. Perhaps you are struggling to find your place, questioning whether you are pushing at a wall that will never let you through. Maybe you’re afraid you will never find a way out.
For those of you who are reading this, crippled with regret or grief. For the fighters waiting for a brighter day, or the ones who are feeling defeated. This is for every individual who has a similar story. The ones who are battling every day. You deserve to be heard. Not for three minutes, or ten minutes, or one hour. Forever. Your dreams are not impossible. Do not feel as if you have nothing and do nothing because of this. There is so much more in you. More than maybe you want to believe.
“At any given moment you have the power to say this is not how the story is going to end” – Unknown.