The Misconception with “Thinking Positively”

I had a blog planned for this month, but last minute I decided to write this. Recently, I heard someone tell me very bitterly, “I don’t believe in thinking positive. It’s a bunch of BS”. They may have thought that their words would affect me, perhaps question everything I stand for? And so here this blog was born…

Now I know there are quite a few individuals whom I have heard talk about the BS behind thinking positively. They don’t believe in it, simply put. They believe that thinking positive is for those who are delusional. You might believe that my optimism is overshadowing a brutal realism. That perhaps I should approach realities with a different attitude. To be honest with you, I think you misunderstand me. I don’t think you even understand what I am saying.

Let me tell you a story. When I was younger I used to pray that I would get an A+ on my spelling test – without studying. And every single time I got my test back, that A+ was never on that piece of paper. It frustrated me; I didn’t understand why nothing was working. Here I was, believing that if I wished for it hard enough, it would have to happen. I laugh about it now because I understand that I can’t ask for it. I have to work for it. The same goes with everything else in life.

I am not telling you that if you think positive that you will be able to finish first in the race or get top marks on your exams. I am telling you that you need to believe in yourself and you need to work for it. Self-esteem won’t win you a race if you don’t train for it. Positive thinking is not the same as fantasizing. 

There is also the belief that in order to be positive you have to ignore or deny any negative emotions. That you cant have a bad day or acknowledge a bad mood or feel sad, angry, or hurt. This is not what I am saying at all. I am not telling you to put a smile on and pretend to be happy when you aren’t feeling that way. I don’t want you to put on a mask. I am not asking you to betray yourself. I want you to be true. It is important to embrace your feelings – your thoughts and moods – and allow it to pass through you.

I can’t please everyone and that’s not my job. My job in this life is to be happy and live an honest life. The truth of life is that you will always be criticized for the things that make you different. But you know what I see? I see myself apart from everyone else. What you see as a weakness, I see as my biggest strength. Maybe that’s why you feel threatened? Because I am not like you. Maybe you target me because I live my life so boldly? Maybe you refuse to see anything bright and joyful in this life.

I don’t think you should have an opinion on something you don’t understand. You don’t understand me. And I won’t change because of you. I won’t stop writing because of what you might think or say. I am so proud of the perspective I have brought to so many individuals who need it. Bullies don’t threaten me. You can keep living in the darkness and I’ll keep dancing in the sunlight. Enjoy the view.

My message to anyone being doubted – You are great exactly the way you are. No one has any right telling you how to be. Nobody has any right giving you a label expect you. Taylor Swift said it best – Don’t let their ugly words into your beautiful mind.

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