A New Chapter

You have to make a lot of big decisions in life and no matter what you do, you are always going to end up hurting someone. The plan to move was always there. But I wasn’t into moving quickly. I have made excuses and delayed it. I have a dream inside of me. Everyday I ask myself – what would you do if you could not fail? Everyday I ask myself that and everyday my answer is always the same. So am I living my dream today? The answer is no. Why?

People tell me to be realistic; people who are suppose to believe in me the most. So how can I pursue this path when the ones I trust the most are telling me I can’t do it? Well, that’s the funny thing too. I have always been pushed by what other say I can never do. I had a math teacher in grade four tell me that I was always going to struggle with math and that I should never do anything with numbers. I now have a finance degree and graduated with a 3.7 GPA. The point is, you can have everything and everyone against you, but if you work your butt off it will pay off. You must rise again and again.

Be realistic. Wow how different our world would be if we were all realists. You would have laughed in Steve Jobs face when he said he was going to build a computer that could fit in your pocket. You would have laughed at the women who fought for equal rights. You would have laughed at same sex marriages. You would have laughed at Neil Armstrong who was the first person to land on the moon. I refuse to be realistic.

There are people who will always wish for your down fall. They are patiently waiting, everywhere. Next to you, in front of you, within you. They have a name. Fear. Fear will always be found. This new chapter is something unfamiliar, something new. But you know what I’m more scared of than uncertainty? I am scared to live my days in some sort of pattern where moments are just passing me by. I fear the future. I am afraid I will never open the door. Tell me how do you open the door? I am afraid I will never find what I am looking for. I am afraid to live a meaningless life where I work 9-5 and lose the beauty of life. I am afraid that I will trust other’s opinions over my own. I am afraid that I will be stuck in a cage that I put myself in.

It’s time to live my dreams. It’s time to believe that it’s possible. Helen Keller was asked once, “What on earth is worse than being born blind?”. She said, “It would be so much worse being born with sight, but no vision”. It’s time to step into your greatness. It’s time to live to your potential. Do you. Be you. If you are not building your own dreams, you’re building someone else’s. Are you sure that’s what you want to do?

There are no rules, no plans. I have no idea what will happen next. I am just going to live a life that I can be proud of. I will live enough to be happy and maybe understand some things I did not know before. I hope this new adventure helps me understand. Maybe it will teach me that you can’t plan everything out. You can’t think because some things are just meant to happen. Sometimes your world gets hit and it changes your course forever; sometimes maybe its suppose to.

Go get whatever you are seeking. Get it while there is still some wild in you. No matter what anyone tells you, always remember why it’s important. Do not lose anymore days chasing the wrong things. Do not burn out your inspiration on things that don’t make you come alive. I have somewhere I want to go, some dream that is so far away but I still have my eyes set on it. It’s off across some ocean that I want to get closer to. “I belong out there”, I think to myself. I am looking beyond a glass window screaming for more. Knowing my entire life could be out there. I have spent too long closing my mind to the things that I want. So here I go. I am not going to let anything stop me. I am not going to be afraid to go out there. I will get close. I will keep fighting and I will get so close that I will hear my destiny calling my name.

If you are someone reading this today not really sure where you’re going and perhaps wanting to give up even before trying… I know how you feel. I feel it and understand it every single day. It’s so easy. Maybe it’s safe to stay in one place. But I believe in bravery. I believe in running from the past. Even when you have no idea how you are going to pull through.

“She had a little rebel in her, a little chaos and a little gentleness. She did not say much and sometimes she would doze off. She would drift away, dream with the stars and that was okay. She had a little fight in her and every time she built enough courage her voice would echo through the sky. She was not complete but she had enough. There was a science to her genius, her madness, her beauty and there was nothing she could not accomplish. She was unstoppable and everything she ever wanted she took, with nothing on but a smile”. – Beautiful Chaos

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