I can’t remember how many times you looked me in the eyes and asked me if I was okay.
How many times I smiled back at you and responded, ‘Yes’.
On the outside, I looked fine. But on the inside, the pain was burning me alive.
And I wondered, if you could tell.
I was struggling to appear okay on the outside,
When inside all I wanted to do was scream.
Everything around me felt and looked so real,
And for a moment in time, I thought it was.
Whatever I knew before,
Seemed to have faded away.
And it left me completely confused.
It’s madness listening to some of the people around me,
It’s exhausting seeing everything unfold before my eyes.
We try so hard to appear perfect.
However, one day you will look around you and you will know the difference between what is real, and was is fake.
You will see that what you were looking at was never true.
It never has been.
I have been deceived by a false reality,
I have been let down by multiple individuals I’ve trusted.
I was surrounded by riches,
And felt completely poor.
And now I am looking at you,
Thinking how could I have let this happen?
Where did I lose myself?
And it surprises me how easy it was to get lost in the midst of it all.
But the illusion shattered before me, and I was forced to see beyond the pieces scattered.
The light came through and I finally saw everything I failed to see before.
Maybe we create this illusion because we can’t endure the truth.
Perhaps we are all guilty of not showing someone our complete selves. It could be to our family, our friends, our partner, even a stranger. Why do we do it?
We are all afraid to reveal the parts of ourselves that we struggle with.
You are not a name, an age, a height, a weight, or a gender. You are not your insecurities, your career, or your memories. You are your favorite book, your thoughts, the songs you listen to, the roads you traveled, the mistakes you’ve made, and the kindness you show. You are a million things. Every sunset, every mountain, every drop of rain – that is you. Do not waste your life carving a mask hiding everything you wish you could change from the world. Be true to who you are; be proud of all your flaws. Your inner beauty is much more important than how people see you on the outside.
I will never allow masked individuals lead me to fall through the cracks again.
I will never believe in this false reality that so many around me are building.
I will never hide behind a smile, behind a job, behind expectations, or the other bullshit.
Learn who you are. Understand all that you may be. Perhaps you are not even who you think you are.
We will never truly know who we are until we look into the mirror and stop judging ourselves. Forget about ideals, perfection, and failures. Love yourself for who you are. You are a piece of something remarkable. You can’t help it. You cannot be anything else.
Let people see the real, imperfect, flawed, and beautiful you.