A Hard Lesson

Sometimes in life we are given the most amazing lessons. You think you have it defined and nothing could change your mind, but sometimes you find a truth in someone or something and you can’t help but listen and see because you thought you knew how the story was gong to end, and it changes in a way you didn’t think was possible.

This past year has been a lot of lows,
a lot of fears,
a lot of longing

There was so much heartache and worry and the growing pains of change were hard to adapt to.

But it was also a year of finding a purpose,
a year of living in the present,
a year of searching for every spark of joy you could find.

So much falling,
but also so much rising.

A few months ago I felt myself break completely open,
and I knew that the pieces would never take the same shape again.

My days felt very long and very lonely. And I wondered if there was anyone out there who could save me from this.

I wondered if there was anyone out there who understood me…

There was.

And they come to you when you swear you’ve lost completely who you are.

It’s amazing what finds you when nothing feels right,
but your heart refuses to give up. 

Amazing who walks into your life,
when you tell yourself to just go a little more.

During such a difficult time, I didn’t know it was possible for someone to make you feel at peace. I had forgot what that even felt like.

But it was possible. At such a low point, when all I wanted was to find some rest, I found hope.

It’s possible for someone to come into your life that can make you laugh and smile no matter how long you have felt chaos and pain.  

It’s possible for someone to show you how to be happy, to welcome struggles, to find a power within you that makes your soul heal from years of pain.   

It’s possible for someone to show you a tremendous amount of love without any effort.

And this will always carry you.

If it wasn’t for this pandemic, I don’t think I would have realized how badly I needed someone like this.

I was so busy and consumed with everyday life that I didn’t realize how lost I was until everything slowed down. I didn’t realize how long I had been going down this road, realizing it was leading me nowhere.

There are people out there who are going to shift your path and show you a different way.

They will be there to save you before everything falls apart. They will find you when you need them the most, they always do.

They will help you through, but you still have to keep moving, and sometimes they can’t go with you.

It’s a hard lesson, knowing it doesn’t last, that you have to keep going, and sometimes you have to leave the people who saved you behind.

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